A Don Quixote, as everyone knows (or says he knows) the books of chivalry him to lose head. He read them over and over again until they are believed, and his own folly was to replace the logic, morality and conventions of this world, for those books that had dangerous adventures around every corner, where ogres and giant kidnapped princesses, and men were heroes incorruptible, above the weaknesses of the men present. I copied a passage that I have always loved, in which Don Quixote, lost in the night into a dark forest trembles at every sound, thinking it is the beginning of a dangerous feat and said:
(. ..) I was born, by Heaven, this our iron age to revive in it the gold or the golden as it is called. I am he for whom perils, mighty achievements, and valiant deeds. I am, I say again, who is to revive the Round Table, the Twelve of France and the Nine Worthies, and has forgotten to put the Platirs, the Tablantes, Olivantes and straps, the Phoebuses and Belianises , with the whole herd of famous knights-errant of days gone by, doing this in which I live such exploits, marvels, and feats of arms as shall obscure their brightest deeds more.
Today, there is still one who ends up living in a world distorted by the literary. It happened to me. But it was not fantasy books, of romance and adventure, or products to evade, but books where I thought I would find, by way of revelation, the key to exposing the society and men, those books that stand as towers in the library of a teenager with vagaries intellectuals, who put at our disposal the painful truths about sex, love, god, family, etc ... we always believed we were being hidden so that directs our steps easy way. Diary of a Thief, Journey to the End of the Night, Under the Volcano, The Basement, Philosophy in the Bedroom, The Twilight of the Idols, The Flowers of Evil, A Season in Hell ... how long list of topics. I see in my library and I laugh at myself. Yes, I also read my good dose of books of chivalry, and part of my status as a prostitute I owe a very adolescent approach to some literature in praise of the damned. One could read a book by Nietzsche, Sade and Celine, and already smarter than anyone thought, and each book, it was much heavier burden of intellectual and moral vanity. I felt that after the great ideas that nourish us as children (those that I have enumerated, God, love, family, equality, democracy ...) I had only managed to see through the lies they the others were hiding. Everything was legal, because I thought my hands were already thinking tools with which to build and to dismantle the mechanisms of guilt or desire. All could be reduced unpleasant feeling with reason, why should not he be a whore? Is it really worse than being a secretary, or teacher or librarian, lawyer ...? He always found a thousand reasons why any human activity could be measured in terms of humiliation and indignity with prostitution. Why be indignant about 10 euros an hour when you can be indignant about a lot more money? And the sex they were just Judeo-Christian scruples without logical foundations, of which one was free, to reach total and absolute freedom to dispose of the body without prejudices, without guilt, without more rules than those of the naturelaza, which are the only wise and only asks us to survive. I must confess that I have always been much higher than other women to do what I do, and far above the common run of men by the power that sex gives me about them. I read and I am disgusted, is nothing more than a speech of arrogance. But I think people like me, we have refined to the point of passing any sexual scruples, and be free to have desecrated sacralizations all taboos and sex (the consecration of virginity, the linking of sex to love or anathematizing sodomy), we are again empty, empty ridiculous values, dogmas that constrict our relationship with our own bodies, repressive superstitions that plague us all night for a caress received by a stranger. That vacuum of which I speak, it's all a spiritual conquest, the interior feels like an abyss where everything falls and is lost in the dark, without a trace. Much love as desire. I had to destroy many things within myself to be who I am now, and only now I realize I really did not build a thought to be so, but it was enough to destroy what I had installed inside. So Sorry, as I said Ululatus Sapiens in his commentary, really, people like me empty is perhaps the best position is to re-fill of something, this time for something chosen.
another blogger I am quite impressed that I think has also fallen so damn alluring in the same way that I, only from the opposite sex. Herr calls himself Peter and I linked her blog which is a collection of quixotic chivalry misadventures, but modern. A romantic antihero that celebrates his life john, drinker, a lover of guns and with a nod to the Nazi aesthetic. Worth reading, because the quality of the narrative and descriptions are quite high. One not without the feeling of having been there before, as Herr Peter writes, from the hand of Jean Genet, Celine, or Malcolm Lowry ... I suppose it another hanging from the literature, as I believed it too, until it became a miserable character in the worlds of darkness that we both liked to read, as I am, too. Anything but be a hypocrite. Today
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